Like many people over the age of fifteen, I can clearly remember what it was like to look forward with a sort of perverse anticipation for January 1, 2001. The 21st Century! What a strange sense of wonder those three words elicited in me as a child.
Perhaps because of the popularity of science fiction thanks to shows like Star Trek, the 21st Century promised to be a time of amazing technological advances and near-utopian civilization.
So today, as I was walking through the living room, I noticed my wife was watching some show on cable. I have no idea what it was. But it showed a tribe of dark-skinned native people engaging in what was apparently a wedding ritual.
What made me stop in my tracks was the fact that many of these bare-breasted women had these objects stuck in their lips. You ever see someone with a big fat wad of snuff in their lower lip? Well, imagine that, but on a grotesque scale. There were women with (I'm not exaggerating) pieces of wood six inches long stuck in there, stretching the flesh of their lower lips to truly mind-numbing dimension.
It's one of the most revolting things I've ever seen that didn't involve bloodshed or bodily functions.
Not to be outdone, the menfolk stretched their earlobes with inserts to make it look like they had perpetual hoop earrings in.
The last part I saw before high-tailing my squeamish ass out of the living room was the tribe gathering a bunch of very large sticks. I was informed that the groom was about to be beaten with these, to expunge him of his former sins.
Yeah. This is the 21st Century.
Okay, you're saying. But that was in some out-of-the-way bush country, where civilization and technology haven't arrived.
True. But all I have to do is open the newspaper to read things that aren't exactly "modern" about supposedly modern nations. Including the good ol' U. S. of A.
I could easily list several head-shaking items here. I could go for the obvious, like the Kansas Board of Education's anti-evolution policy of a couple years ago. Or I could go for the obscure, like the fact that some Catholics here apparently think St. Joseph can help you sell your house. Just bury a little statue of ol' Joe in your front yard! I'm not kidding.
I could mention the subtle, like the ever-present racism, sexism, homophobia, and religious prejudices that our country is full of. Or I could go for the truly obscene, like the countless incidences of murder and mayhem being committed daily in this 21st Century, all in the name of God. All right here, in this supposedly "enlightened" nation.
I could list literally hundreds of these things. But what's the point?
21st Century? Sorry. Not what I was expecting.
