What is your name? (Real or pseudo)

Joye H.

What is your date of birth?

January 13, 1977

What is your gender?

Female

What is your race?

Caucasian

What is your e-mail address? (optional)

unlisted

What is the name and URL of your homepage? (optional)

n/a

Where do you live? (City, State, Country)

Tooele, Utah, USA (originally from Little Rock, Arkansas & Dallas, Texas)

How would you best describe your form of freethought? (Atheist, Agnostic, Humanist, etc.)

Atheist

Were you raised as a freethinker or to be religious?

My husband & I were both raised LDS (Mormon).

What originally set you on the path to freethought?

I'm not exactly certain if there was a specific & solitary thought process that "led" me to atheism. I've questioned Mormon doctrine since I can remember (especially with regard to their views on women & African Americans). I never received sufficient answers to my questions, & I didn't necessarily want to be what my "examples"/elders were teaching me to be. Through a particular rocky point in my young adult life, I watched all of my family turn their backs on me, yet their actions were precipitated by the fact that I was the victim of a man's actions (a man my family told me was "right" & knew what was "best"). During this shunned/exiled/lonely period of my life, I really took a silent step back & started analyzing what "this" all meant. I eventually (without the support or "encouragement" of a solitary person) concluded that Mormonism (& religion in general) is a fairy tale at best. I believe I've been atheist for four years now, & I have never felt such peace.

When did you "come out" as a freethinker to family/friends/public, and how did it go over?

I first came out to my estranged husband, who immediately pistol whipped me with such old stand-by's as: "You're just doing this so that you won't have to feel bad when you sin. " And: "You are going straight to hell!" Oddly, (& unbeknownst to me) my husband was wrangling the same doubts & questions in his own mind. As Atheists, we have been back together for some time now, & our relationship has never been better. We're calm, peaceful, charitable, & rarely argue. Since my husband has freed himself from the cult, he has quit drinking (which was the cause of our separation in the first place) & quit smoking. (I have yet to quit smoking........but I'm working on it!)

As far as "coming out" to our parents goes....well, I told my parents, who were calm & respectful. However, all four of them (parents & step-parents) are in this sort of denial. They still talk to me as if I were Christian...just not Mormon. My mom thinks that my childhood caused me "to be this way," & while I concede that it may have been a precipitator for doubt & broader applications of thinking, it certainly isn't the "cause." All three of my brothers are atheists as well, although I'm the only one "out." The other 3 are considered "inactive" in church.

My in-laws were an entirely different story. For the first 3 years, my husband carefully guarded our "clandestine" secret. When his little brother was sent home from a mission & excommunicated for being gay, the shit basically hit the fan. Even though my hubby's parents didn't know we were atheists, his father was confident that I was not the meek & fearful Mormon wife I was supposed to be. He sent my husband a 4 page letter calling me the "Anti-Christ," condemning my hubby for "following evil," blaming me for his son being gay, & so on. He went on to say that when "one is drowning, all they can do is pull others down with them." He said that we had no morals, values, or standards, & described our "sins" as a "feel good" that wouldn't last. And so on....you get the picture of what the four pages were like. My husband called him at that point & unleased....told him "You & your god can go straight to f**king h*ll!" For a year now, we haven't been on speaking terms. It'll be "interesting" to see how it all pans out.

Do you feel it necessary to continue to hide your beliefs in any circumstances, and if so, why?

Well, obviously we hid it from my in-laws for 3 years, because we properly predicted how irrational & hateful their reaction would be. Mormons believe that theirs is the "only true faith." Mormon children are taught that the only way one goes to hell is to "know the one true faith & turn their back on it." Murderers & child molesters are revered above ex-Mormons. Additionally, Mormons believe that their families are working toward a priviledged eternity together through their beliefs, good works, & temple endowments. For a Mormon parent, it's catostrophic (to say the least) to believe that their child won't be part of their eternal family.

Also, in general, I don't tell anyone about my beliefs unless the appropriate conversation arises through another's doing. This is Utah, afterall. I'm not about to be ostracized every where I go. My son is in grade school, & he feels everyday as if he is the ONLY child at his school who doesn't go to church (or isn't Mormon). It's hard on him, but he stands fast. I think it reaffirms so much to him that his Mormon, neighborhood friends often use the word n*gger & make fun of his gay uncle. I think it also says a lot to him that we are the only family he knows that is actively charitible to many causes based on our own free will & choice (rather than based on "callings" or "commandments" of a church).

Have you ever been the victim of discrimination or abuse because of your beliefs?

We've had neighbors stop talking to us & all the things that begin to seem "normal" after living in Utah for a time. I can honestly say that after having lived in this state for 10 years, I'm fairly desynsetized to a lot of the discrimination that occurs. We just attempt to live "above rapproach" as much as possible, because if we have even one "public" slip up, it is said far & wide that it is because we "invited Satan into our lives." It's sad to have to try to be "perfect," but if we're not...it's because we're evil....while if a Mormon isn't perfect, it's because "no man is...only Christ" & because "Satan tempts" them, especially through "evil tools" like us.

Also, our family went our son's elementary school literacy night last week (& took 2 Mormon kids down the street with us at the request of their parents). We picked out several books from the book fair for our home, childrens' library (half of which were based on history, acceptance, culture, etc.) & some for my son's classroom, as he loves to "donate" to his class. While we were in line, 2 boys ahead of us almost forgot to pay (because the librarian said, "Ok, you're done. Go home."). One of them joked, "We almost got free stuff!" Then the librarian said, "Yeah, but then you'd have to repent." I looked at her with a gaping jaw, as one of the boys asked, "How did you know we were Mormon?" The librarian looked a little rattled, but thought she recovered with, "Well, all religions have to repent!" Some of the moms behind me let out those oh-how-religiously-cute chuckles while my jaw was still on the floor.

In what types of freethought activism, if any, do you participate?

I write a lot...essays, poetry, letters, etc. However, I haven't gotten involved in protests & rallies yet. I'm still struggling with the effects of the Utah culture & the way it trickles down to my son. The whole is yet to be seen, however.

What do you feel is the best part of being a freethinker?

I'm free!

What do you feel is the worst part of being a freethinker?

I'm a minority. (Let's face it; it would certainly be nice to be part of a majority! It comes with less stress & less hassle.)

What is the societal atmosphere for freethinkers where you live?

Are you kidding me? I live in Utah.

How do you define "freedom of religion" and do you think your country attempts to grant this?

Many Christians like to talk spout off & say (with regard to atheists) that the Constitution grants "freedom of religion, not freedom from religion." Well, as an atheist, I don't ask for a broad, dictator-like freedom from religion. If my neighbor decides to erect a statue of Moroni (a Mormon icon) on their roof, so be it. I'll think it's gawdy & silly, but that's about the extent of it. I feel the same about crosses, the 10 commandments, etc. What I want (& expect under the Constitution) is a freedom FROM government endorsed/sanctioned religion. I don't want ANY of my tax dollars going to ANY organization that is religiously based. I don't want ANY of my tax dollars to be used to teach (in ANY way) ANY religious dogma, doctrine, principles, or otherwise. Basically, if any iota of my tax money is funding the place, the person, the organization, the production, the maintence, etc. thereof, then it should NOT (under our Constitution) have any religious dribble attached.

If you could share one thought with whoever might read this profile of you, what would it be?

“Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith. I consider the capacity for it terrifying.” -Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

“To surrender to ignorance and call it God has always been premature, and it remains premature today.” -Isaac Asimov

“Just think of the tragedy of teaching children not to doubt.” -Clarence Darrow

“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?” -Douglas Adams

“Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction.” -Blaise Pascal

"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." Susan B. Anthony

"Hey brother Christian with your high and mighty errand, You're actions speak so loud I can't hear a word you're saying..." -Bad Religion

"About 200 B.C. mystery cults began to appear in Rome just as they had earlier in Greece. Most notable was the Cybele cult centered on Vatican hill ... Associated with the Cybele cult was that of her lover, Attis (the older Tammuz, Osiris, Dionysus, or Orpheus under a new name). He was a god of ever-reviving vegetation. Born of a virgin, he died and was reborn annually. The festival began as a day of blood on Black Friday and culminated after three days in a day of rejoicing over the resurrection." -Gerald L. Berry, "Religions of the World"

“There are some inherently crazy subsets of ideas. God was sitting on his ass on NoWhere, since at that time there was not even a universe, for hundreds of millions of years without an idea in his head, picking his nose & farting, when suddenly he became bored one moment in particular & said, in clear Hebrew, ‘From nothing I will create something,’ & he created the entire universe (whatever that may be) for the express purpose of creating you in his own image, complete down to the belly button.” –Madalyn Murray-O’Hair