"Drama is life and the characters that fill life." I hear Martin Short say that many times a day on TNT. At first it seemed like a deep sentence conjured to get people to watch NYPD Blue reruns. I still think so, but the words mean so much more now.

I began getting interested in dramatic television shows years ago, but I never really looked to see what made each one so special. I have watched Law & Order many times, and every time I learn a little about the judicial system, as well as grind my teeth in frustration as the heroes are bound by laws that seem in no one's best interest but feel duty-bound to stay within them. Every time a defendant weasels out of getting convicted by invoking an obscure case to exclude a piece of evidence, I get a little more interested.

I'm also a fan of ER. I like to see the difficult situations the young doctors find themselves stuck in. One surgeon uses her best judgment on deciding whether surgery is necessary for a patient. Another doctor disagrees, and uses a personal relationship with another surgeon to get the surgery performed anyway. In the end, the first surgeon was right. This led me to an interesting dilemma. The second doctor is less experienced with surgical cases, but she feels that better safe than sorry is the best way to go. She pulls whatever strings she has to to make sure her patient will be okay. Who is right? Should we have trusted the first doctor and her experience, or the second, and her take no chances attitude? Who was right?

And then there is The West Wing, known for its incredibly sharp dialogue. It can even make hard-core partisan politics receive a second look. Emily Proctor's shrill voice made me think twice about the ERA and gun control. Timothy Busfield's teddy bear-cute but Rush Limbaugh-condescending smile made me take another look at hate crimes penalties. And the back and forth script can make the most hardened killer laugh.

But that's not what I am hearing from the newspaper. Everyone is criticizing network television for its bad language and immoral content. Letters to the editor constantly have an effect on my gag reflex. Some have said that they restrict their television watching to Touched by an Angel and Mysterious Ways.

I've never seen Mysterious Ways, but I have has a few occasions to see Touched. I haven't been impressed. The moral dilemmas and engaging plots are missing; it restricts itself to feuding families and occasionally a death. It even criticizes atheists, saying we are "in denial" with nothing to back them up except we don't believe the same stuff they do. Why are insipid dialogue and plots unacceptable in sixth grade creative writing so religiously watched by 15 millions Americans?

My guess is that the target audience is the deeply religious and disgustingly naïve; I don't see how a family fighting can utter nothing more offensive that "jerk." I fail to see how a single swear word fails to escape the mouth of a pregnant woman just shot in the abdomen. Where is the realism? I often wonder how The West Wing gets it characters through intensely stressful situations with only occasional swear words. And yet, even their wading into the water of more colorful language gets them blasted by any republican and most democrats in politics. Not to mention every single digit IQ theist in America. And what about other offensive things? They occasionally discuss sex, but never anything that cannot be beaten by a naughty limerick. Nudity? I saw Allison Janney in her panties once, but she quickly threw a bathrobe on. And I'm told the proper freeze frame can reveal Kellie Martin's breasts. (Considering the scene in question has her chest being sawed open not thirty seconds later, I'm willing to bet those breasts are part of her prosthetic chest.)

So what does the objection come down to? Without any serious discussion of sex (I've heard more graphic things on Columbo), no nudity, and nothing else that could possibly cause a boycott, is the sporadic "ass" or "bitch?" (The bible contains both.)

My questions to the abstainers are these. Is content less important than political correctness? Are you really not mature enough to see the beauty of a film or scene because it has a swear word? Are you really that shallow?

"Its all those ingredients coiled like a rubber band, and you never know when it's going to snap," Richard Schiff says at the end of the commercial. I don't see how such conflict can be resolved without a single swear word. The more we can believe it, the better the show is.

I guess no matter how horrible a writer you are, you can always make it if you put mainstream religion into your work.