Morals are things that should be instilled in us at a very young age, and taught by example, rather than by edict, just like anything else. There are different types of morality, but the only kind that ever really works is that morality chosen by ourselves, imposed on ourselves.
There are a multitude of forums in which a child today can learn lessons in morality. Family, school, church, books, movies, etc... Not all of these lessons would be good ones, of course.
For myself, my formative years were, effectively, the early seventies. I was six years old at the beginning of that decade, and that's an age where things really start to make sense to a child. Or not make sense, as the case may be.
Most of these formative years were spent in a household of two. Me and my father. The vast age difference between us, over 45 years, did not lend itself to great communication. However, I realized just by observing this man that he was truly good at heart. He was understanding, supportive, caring, honest... A wonderful role model. I will always deeply admire him.
But he was not the only role model I had. In fact, his influence was nothing if not subtle. The lessons he taught me were years in the learning. Instead, these years were filled with other examples, some of which I'm sure you'll find unlikely sources of morality.
One was a movie. I saw it at a young age in the theater. However, it wasn't until I saw it again, during college, that I realized how influential this film had been in my life. The movie was Billy Jack. If you are unfamiliar with it, this is a story about a man - son of a Caucasian and Native American - a Vietnam vet trying to embrace a peaceful life in a violent, hateful society. He was the guardian of a school in the desert, a school that catered to creative kids, troubled kids, runaways, and so on.
The movie's main focus was prejudice. Much of it was racial, primarily regarding the mistreatment of Native Americans, but also on the prejudice against the "hippie freaks" who attended the school.
It wasn't the best movie in the world, and in fact, tended to romanticize violence in the name of justice. But it was a very powerful film that showed me just how insidious and disgusting prejudice is in our society.
I saw it when it opened, back in 1971. I was seven years old. The next time I saw it was during college. It was playing one weekend on campus. And when I saw it again, I couldn't believe just how much the movie had affected me.
As an aside, in January of 2001, I saw Tom Laughlin (who portrayed Billy Jack) on the first stop of his tour to promote the 30th anniversary of the film. I was fortunate enough to be living in the town of that first stop, at a Tower Video store. After standing in line for an hour and a half, I got to shake his hand and have my picture taken with him. He autographed the boxed set of all four Billy Jack movies. I thanked him for making them. And I meant it.
The other major source of my moral development was, believe it or not, comic books. If I had to single out one particular book, it would have to be Spider-Man. Yes, the comics romanticized violence even moreso than that movie did. But looking beyond that, the real messages are easily seen.
"With great power comes great responsibility." That was the harsh lesson that Peter Parker learned in his earliest days as Spidey. Over the years, I watched him continually grow as a person. Watched him be responsible, watched him consistently do the right thing.
Sure, these are both fictional characters. But that made no difference whatsoever. In fact, it's easier to show morality through fantasy. Few humans are as moral as some creatures of fiction. Fortunately, few are as immoral as other fictional creations.
I mentioned earlier two other forums in real life. School and church. Some would argue that school is not the place to teach morality (or, in fact, that morality can even be taught), but the fact remains that a huge amount of our development is influenced by the social atmosphere of school. We don't absorb this from our teachers, but from our fellow students. Peer pressure is an awesome force, and not always a conscious thing, either. Much of our attitudes, judgments, and behavior is subtly affected by the kids we associated with, for good or bad.
As for church, well... If you've read Cardigan on Religion, you know how I feel about the subject. But I did go to church as a youth. And the morality that I was exposed to in church was not that of example, but of edict. "God says this, Jesus says that."
True, many examples of Jesus' morality were shown. But Jesus never came across anywhere near as real as the fictional characters I learned from. He was a name in a book, lacking any real depth. I couldn't relate to him.
For that matter, I soon came to realize that the morality in the "good book" was not any kind of morality I'd want for myself, or for the people I wanted around me. Even "perfect" Jesus himself wasn't what I'd call a man worthy of emulation. He was, quite bluntly, a hypocrite.
For example, Jesus is noted as having said something to the effect of "Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you." But in his own actions, he seems to have had a bit of a problem in listening to his own words. He showed little regard for his gentile neighbors, equating them with "dogs." He even went so far as to instruct his disciples to "go nowhere among the gentiles." He even, at first, refused to heal a gentile child, only doing so after the child's mother came up with something that amused him.
Jesus also spoke against anger, in some instances nearly equating anger with killing. Yet he often showed his own anger.
And one of Jesus' most honored teachings was that of honesty. Yet, despite of his supposed honesty, he didn't always tell the truth! When urged to accompany his brothers to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Tabernacle, Jesus told them that he would not be going. But then he went anyway, in secret, by himself. And then there was the issue of where he taught. To a high priest, he said, "I have spoken openly to the world; I have always taught in the synagogues and in the temple, where all Jews come together; I never spoke secretly." This is a complete contradiction to what is found elsewhere. Not only did he teach in places other than synagogues and temples, but he even said that his own words were not always open, but sometimes intended to be secret! He taught on "the mount," by the sea, on the plain, and in other places. To his disciples, he said, "To you has been given the secret of the kingdom of God, but for those outside everything is in parables; so that they may indeed see but not perceive and indeed hear but not understand: lest they should turn about and be forgiven."
This wasn't the kind of guy I wanted as a role model, thank you very much.
Like the other forums I mentioned, it is possible to look past the less-than-sterling things found in the Christian bible and see the more pertinent messages within. But it sure isn't easy. There is just so much chaff and so little wheat to be found there. What wheat there is tends to be a little stale and somewhat tasteless. And so many people seem to eat the chaff, thinking they're only eating the wheat.
Suffice to say that I deliberately rejected much of the "morality" of the religion I was raised in. I tried my best to retain my own identity in school, despite peer pressure. I plowed through the violent, commercial "hooks" of the printed and filmed media, extracting what wisdom I could. And as I matured, I was able to see the strong, yet understated, morality exhibited constantly by those that I loved and respected.
The combination has resulted in my own personal set of morals... a set that makes me feel good about myself.
What more could I want?